Day 5

​Red Refugee, HMP Sofitel, Heathrow

Pete and I had to wait for hours queuing up to get our passports checked when we arrived.
And today I have had reason to reflect on a conversation that I had with the immigration officer.
On being called up to the kiosk and going through the formalities of entry he asked which hotel I was quarantining in…. I replied Sofitel, “bloody hell, you’ve landed on your feet there, that’s a 5 star place”
I won’t lie, on hearing this I had a slight smile for the first time in a few days with the thought of swimming’s pools, spas, gyms good food and a roof terrace to relax on.

Now of course, I’ve already gone into the lowlights of this stay:
No leaving your room
No spa
No gym
No roof terrace
No housekeeping 
No cleaning
No open windows
No fresh air in the room
No change of sheets
No change of towels

But one thing I had hoped and one thing I thought might save my stay was the quality of food, but no, sadly even Boris had a hand in this!

I thought as it was a 5 star hotel the kitchens would be dishing up some quality food, because after all what else have they to do, but I was wrong.

Each day the food, which I believed was cooked by our hotel is delivered to our doors with a gentle knock on the door and a brown paper bag has the meal in, inside plastic trays and clingfilm.
Now as Pete is in another hotel we have been able to share pictures of the food and share our disgust at the quality being served. Now as we are over 30mikes from each other and staying at two very different hotels one would expect we had very different food, oh no…… it appears that the food is “catered”  for by an external supplier which just ships the crap in. Pete and I have had identical meals, in identical bags, in identical order.
No different to our outsourced hospitals and schools.
So Boris, please explain why it has cost us £1750 to stay in this shithole?
Cost of cleaning? No!
Cost of food? No!
Cost of staff? No!
Cost of utilities?No!

And whilst I’m at it…….Security what are we being secured against?
We have already agreed to follow your draconian law, we have already gone into our savings to ensure we follow your rules so why is the hotel now being run by security and not staff?
Why do I have to ask permission to exercise?
“Dial 7709, can I please go outside?”
“Dial 7709, can I please have some more fresh water?”
Dial 7709, can I please have a clean towel”

The “security” and I use that term very loosely as I have some very good, professional, intelligent friends who would in this industry and these at this hotel are very far from professional, sit around the hotel on their phones doing nothing, what emergency or incident will call for over 150-170 security guards? I really don’t know with the threat of a £10000 fine for breaking these rules.

Boris, Mr Johnson I would very much like a quick chat if you can find 10mins just so I can explain how you have totally, totally ballsed this up…

Oh yeah my tummy has turned again so I’m back on the toilet again!